Conflict Resolution


Conflict Resolution in Relationships

 Why must we learn conflict resolution skills? It’s because conflicts shall definitely arise at one point in time or another and in one form or another in any relationship or fellowship.
Relationships form the foundation of communities. Every healthy plant has not only been well watered but also well pruned. A healthy relationship is likewise not only watered with blissful moments but also pruned with melancholic episodes.
If conflicts never arise, relationships will not grow. Remember what Walter Lippmann said, “Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.” On the other hand, if conflicts are rampant, it is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. After successfully resolving a conflict, the relationship moves from one level of intimacy to a higher level of intimacy.  
Conflicts must be handled with skill and not emotions. In resolving disagreements, the later you vent your emotions the better. Bear in mind that the person you are having the dispute with is someone you cherish and love, and that your relationship is supposed to outlast the argument. Using inflammatory and offensive language to express your displeasure is neither advisable nor necessary.
Success coach Natalie Gahrmann says, “When I take the time to breathe and regain my focus I can create the opportunity to choose my response rather than just react. If I try to skip this step, my words are too emotionally loaded.” Naomi Drew, M.A, author of 'Hope and Healing'', emphasizes that “A key credo in conflict resolution is, ‘It’s us against the problem, not us against each other.’”

“Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord” (Heb 12:14, KJV). Make it a personal choice to be at peace with all men. Peace produces joy, and in a joyful state love reigns unhindered.
Note the areas and the particular issues which are causes of conflicts and discuss them in depth to get to a point of mutual understanding. This dialogue must take place after your heated emotions have cooled off. Trying to understand the other person’s emotions at this point may not be easy but you should still attempt to do so.
The biggest obstacle to conflict resolution is pride. Therefore resolving conflicts also involves dealing with your pride.
Most of the time, the parties to a conflict are all right to some extent and wrong to some extent. Therefore resolving the conflict has to do with both of them realizing where they were right and where they went wrong without any of them being overly defensive or exaggeratedly judgmental.
The end of conflict resolution is for people to forgive without keeping record of wrongs. Put in a different way, the goal of conflict resolution is peace.
“Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” (Matt 5:9, KJV)


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